Kephirra's Xanga

Girl Friday

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 22:17:03 GMT

This is for you, Pretty Girl! Get over that flu!

Livin' in Yuppie Paradise...

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 21:46:35 GMT

We moved to Tempe from the Coronado neighborhood in Phoenix about a month and a half ago. Since then, Gypsy and I have been working through the dynamics of a mixed transgender relationship and all that entails. Take two people with a past who have a child together, have one partner gender switch more often than the operating system of the Hubble telescope's telemetry program sends positioning signals, cloud the issue with the other partner alternating between retreating to the safe mode of being a good little Ohio girl and not sure whether she's a bull or an FTM and you get the picture. It's fun, or as Gypsy likes to say, "Secretly we've exchanged Gypsy with a carnival ride. Let's see if Jane notices." The reality? More and more it is Gypsy noticing that I've been secretly exchanged with a carnival ride. Now to all that, add in not being able to keep my girl in hormones, so now it's back to female menopause and male puberty all over again for her, soon to be followed by female puberty and male menopause. Sound fun? You haven't really had a relationship till you've had one like ours, lol. It's two, two, no three, no four, no...Oh WTF, we lost count how many personalities and characters are involved. We gave up trying to figure out whether one or both or all of us have MPD, or we're just GQ as hell.

While brainstorming the solution for the hormone access issue, Gypsy asked me outright, if Gypsy and Rakli had separate bodies, instead of both of them being in one body (no, they are not Siamese twins...that would be too fucking easy for us...we have to have multiple people in one body, with multiple genders and orientations) and I could only be with one or the other, would I choose Gypsy or Rakli. The explanation? Gypsy is my beloved friend, the father of my youngest daughter, and the man I wished for years that I could see again. I love having and holding him, the closeness, the silliness, but when it all comes down to it, he's a friend. Rakli is my lover, my fantasy, my inspiration. How do you tell someone that when they are both of those people at the same time? But that is typical of our relationship. Complex doesn't begin to cover it.

Why am I talking about this? Shouldn't I keep this to myself and pretend that I'm just like all the other good little Ohio girls? No. Somewhere out there, someone just like me is trying to figure out who and what they are. Hopefully when they read this, it will help them feel just a little less alone. There are no roadmaps for transgendered relationships, especially ones where the partners actually have a history together.The books that are supposed to be helpful and supportive only serve to drive home the isolation of loving someone who is trans, and trying to figure out where you are yourself on the straight to bi to homo to trans continuum. And yes folks, sexual orientation and gender are separate things. You can be trans and straight, trans and bi, and trans and homo. Colliding with the reality of who you are while trying to work through reviving a past relationship is a hell of a challenge, and I defy anyone to make it work without a lot of frsutration, pain, alienation, and wishful thinking.

Remember, Thou Art Mortal...

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 03:29:15 GMT

Had a scare today. Gypsy had chest pains at the grocery store but would not sit down or go to the ER. It scared us both and made him rethink the whole bit about taking hormones. For today, he's decided not to take them any more and to go back to being male full time. I'll miss Rakli, but I would much rather have Gypsy alive and well than being a heart attack away from losing them both. It didn't make the day any easier when he started telling me what to do with his jewelry, swords, and tools. I have already got Laura's father in the ground, and went crazy enough with grief over that. I don't want to think about life without Gypsy. He's been very affectionate today. I love it but not the reason that has prompted it all. He also got Jordy's daggers polished and ready to mail, recut a knife he made from an old jackhammer bit, and polished the throwing axe he's giving Joe.

The plan is still to save up for a van that we can fix up and run all over the country going to gun and knife shows and ren faires selling his jewelry, swords and knives. We are doing okay so far this month. This week's article money will stay in the bank toward the van. I am proud of the fact that we paid our rent and groceries with the money I earned from writing articles.

Woman at Work...

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 02:05:15 GMT

I am pretty darned proud of the fact that I am currently living on the income I make from writing short articles. That's thanks to not having a car payment or needing to pay car insurance, and thanks to a really low rent payment for the room we rented from Gypsy's apprentice, Elliott. It is also due to the fact that Tempe is progressive enough to have a circulating bus system that runs in several continous loops,allowing people to reach any part of Tempe within 15 minutes to half an hour. the best part is, it's free. Just flag it down as you see it going by.

I am also proud of how fit I have become since arriving in Arizona. All the walking and biking have trimmed me down by ten pounds and six inches around my waist. I am almost into a size 16 again, and will have to go shopping for smaller clothes soon.

Moved in...

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 23:08:54 GMT

All moved in now and I have met and survived the Hounds of Lucifer. They are actually great big over sized kids. Mastiffs are daunting when you first meet them, but I already knew how to handle myself around large aggressive dogs from years with Rocky, Rudy and Leben, my sister's Labradors. Rocky was from before they started breeding Labs down to fit in Yuppie apartments and could give Nemesis a run for his money. Nem is a good boy, wouldn't hurt a fly intentionally, but dumb as a box of hammer handles. Moira is very laid back.

Finally...

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 23:28:17 GMT

a day when I don't have a one hour deadline. Gypsy and I just finished moving to Tempe, Az today from Phoenix. We had been staying at the home owned by a friend of his from New York. The problem is, the house had a spirit in it. I would have to call it a hungry ghost, Japanese style. It fed on negative energy. Yeah, I know. Sounds crazy until you are the one waking up in the middle of the night with an unnatural cold creeping sensation.

Anyway, Tempe is much better, even though the trade off is living with the Hounds of Lucifer, three very large English Mastiffs. Actually, Moira is a pretty mellow dog, but Nemesis can be temperamental and Zoe has been described to me as "twitchy." She's been pretty good so far, though.

We decided to move to Tempe instead of going directly to our plan of buying a van and converting it into a camper to go to gun and knife shows and sell Gypsy's swords and stuff. We should have access to a digital camera soon, so I will post some photos of interesting things in and around Tempe and Phoenix. Stuff like palo verde trees, prickly pear cactus fruit, the Ranch Market, and Extreme Bean, where I write most of my articles.

I've been loading articles at Hayden library on ASU's campus. Thank God they allow the public to use their computers along with their students. I'll be writing more about ASU eventually. I recommend it to anyone who is looking for an affordable Engineering, Art or Anthropology school. Very welcoming, vibrant, open and refreshing campus design, convenient transportation system: Metro bus, Flash, and the Orbit, plus the Light Rail.

Wow...

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 01:07:16 GMT

I've been in Phoenix two weeks and I am loving it. The desert sucks moisture from your body faster than you can put it in, so I have lost six inches around my waist since I got here. I love Gypsy madly and am very happy. My snoring is an issue, though lol. Anyway, hugs to all and have a Happy New Year!

Sweetness...

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 06:14:18 GMT

You draw me with your voice, Sweetness.
Honey-deep, my mind drifts into cotton candy clouds.

The Next Battleground State: Iowa...

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 17:18:48 GMT

The Iowa Supreme Court will hear opening arguments today on whether or not to allow gay couples to marry.

Two...

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 05:47:38 GMT

A day and a half from now, I'll be in Phoenix. I can't believe things have happened so fast. A part of me is scared, but mostly I feel like the best thing that ever happened other than my two girls is about to happen. Gypsy and I have talked to the point where we know everything that could have been an issue between us, and we know where we are with each other. I couldn't ask for a better place to start from, relationship wise.